News reporters: The new signs of the Zodiac?

Ok, now this is pretty funny. A couple of folks on the internet have decided to update the Zodiac. According to them, "the new signs of the Zodiac are all news reporters. This is due to a breakthrough in philosophical thought: TV personalities represent every human personality trait so far developed." According to them, I'm:

Libra
An air sign, Libra is one of the most talkative. Exceptionally assertive and creative, they tend to generate an unusual number of work-related plans and projects. They aggressively go after what they want, which is usually answers. Of course, Barbara Walters has been an investigative journalist for how long now?

BARBARA WALTERS' SUPERPOWERS
Poison-tipped brooches : Power-up weapon. You are immune to the poison if you accidently stick yourself.
Hypnosis : Big fluffy hair gives off hypnotic aura.
Telekinetic scarf control
When in danger, four harpies are summoned automatically and come to her aid (Joy, Star, Meredith, and the other one)

Anyway. Funny stuff, go have a look.